Dear Harry
by Forever A Fool of Fortune
Summary: Hermione bares her soul in a letter to Harry before his wedding.


Dear Harry

One Shot

Summary: Hermione bares her soul.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. It belongs to J.K. Rowling.

Author's Note: I orignally wrote this about two months ago for a friend's birthday. I saw it a few days ago, thought 'What the hell! I'll put it up!' So... that's what I'm doing. :)

_**Perhaps the feelings that we experience when we are in love represent a normal state. Being in love shows a person who he should be. -Anton Chekhov**_

* * *

July 17th, 1998.

Dear Harry,

This is something I'll never be able to say to you, and even now as I write these words I don't know if it's a good idea. In the past eight years I've known you, I've held you as you've cried, helped you to not fail, and always stayed by your side.

You're going somewhere now that I cannot follow. Somewhere only you are Ginny. can be together.

It's in two weeks. Are you ready? I'm not.

I've tried so many times to tell you, Harry. But I find that you aren't recognizing my hints. But why would you? You've been dealing with the ferocious powers of darkness longer than you remember, and every day you live it haunts you, every day you just want to break down and cry like a little girl, wishing your mother could hold you.

But she can't. She hasn't been able to for eighteen years.

I've always been the book worm, the one who was able to express her ideas and opinions without holding back or thinking of the consequences. And now, Harry. I am so very scared to tell you the truth.

I love you. And I have loved you for two thousand eight hundred eighty-four days, five hours, 7 minutes, and 11… twelve seconds.

She has not loved you, Harry. She's only idolized you. Idolatry is not love, not in the least.

I hated you, Harry, for the times when you were mad at me and you would pass me in the halls without glancing in my direction. I was furious when you didn't bat an eyelash when Krum was after me, bitter when you told Ron. and me that you kissed Cho. But hatred, Harry, has never lasted for long. Not when it comes to you.

You've never felt a drop of desire for me, not a lick. You didn't notice I was a girl until well into our fourth year. Why? Why was I considered one of the guys? Was it just because you met me before either of us met puberty and when I did hit it, I hid in my clothing? I hid in my clothing just like I hid my feelings deep in my heart.

If Ron found out… well… let's just thank Merlin he didn't, yeah?

He was the one who could always make you laugh, the one that you were able to let go of your worries with, even for only a short while. He, with his emotional range of a teaspoon, was the one who could only make you truly happy.

I know we both miss him dearly. He's one that's hard to forget.

But, my darling Harry, he went down fighting. He had the last laugh. Just like he would have wanted. He had his revenge on his love, just like they both would have wanted.

I only could comfort you on the fact that you weren't alone in this gigantic, secret world and that you were not alone in your mourning and suffering. Everyone in our world lost family and friends. Whole bloodlines were eradicated in this fight.

You wondered, for a very long time, what was keeping our world together. A world we have to hide from everyone, and everyone cannot take the time to seek us. It took her to tell you that it was you that was holding it together, and hopes.

Only I could have told you that the only thing holding it together was your courage and will to go on. But when I did tell you, it wasn't the best time. You were drunk out of your mind, and you laughed at me when I told you. You laughed. Another moment where hate flared, making my blood boil with disgust. It was, however, quickly settled when you looked at me with those big green eyes and told me the most truthful statement that you've ever uttered. "I think I love her,"

Oh, Harry, Harry! Why did you have to taunt me so! I thought that it had been rather obvious that I loved you.

Ron thought it was rather obvious that I loved you.

_Draco _and _Snape_ even thought it was obvious that when I loved you.

And your bride-to-be knew it was completely obvious that I loved you, and she manipulated your nativity to her side, to her way to success.

…Is it rather obvious that I do not like your fiancé? It should be. I despise her. She took you away from me.

I'm sure half this letter is completely illegible, and indeed as I scan across it I notice many times where whole paragraphs are completely blurred, the ink saturating into the parchment.

No matter.

I think this has gotten across what I wanted to say, Harry.

I love you.

Could you slow down for maybe a few minutes and consider you might just love me to?

And not just that sisterly love that you claim, but real deep burning love. Love for me, the love that I have.

But I think I'll leave you to contemplate that for yourself.

And now you know my every secret.

I hope you're happy.

I am leaving now. And lucky for you, it's somewhere hard to find, but if you know me well enough, you can get my clues I leave behind for you.

To my heart and soul I leave all my love, may you meet me when you are truly home.

That is your first clue. Contemplate it hard.

Love,

Your Hermione.


End file.
